The Charlie Bravo Story

Chark diem!

Dad here; I have stated in the past that it was my wish that everyone could find their own personal Charlie, but I am now seeing the error of my ways. If life is like box of chocolates, life with Charlie is like a box of chocolates infused with raw tequila, habanero pepper and more than a pinch of gunpowder. The day starts when I try to get her to go outside, and she greets me with a look of such sweetly sublime imbecility, “why disturbest thou thine superior?”, then transforms into a sleek hair covered wrecking ball for the remainder of the day. One example:

Zach’s motorcycle was recently stolen from his apartment, so he now stashes the replacement in the greasy garage of the Casa, a tight but workable precaution. As we have an Eastern Seals ride coming up this weekend, I went out there last night to inspect the bikes, check the tires, batteries, etc.

Now, Charlie has developed an obsession with anything noisy and motorized; if I start the mower? There she is, bounding up onto the deck with absolutely no regard for my bare feet. The Subaru? Same reaction. But her true passion is reserved for motorcycles and even the sound of the key going into the ignition is enough to transform her into a maelstrom of mayhem, and the actual sound of the bike causes her already meager IQ to half and her adrenaline to double. Her voice transforms from a “normal” bark (if there is such a thing) to a CHARK!!, an unholy, earsplitting combination of plea and demand that cannot be ignored.

So here I am, alone at the Casa with no human reinforcements, and when I crank up Zach’s bike, I feel a whoomp!, 50# of black dog vaulting onto the saddle expecting to go for a ride. Although this might have been amusing at another time, Newton’s law dictates that an object in motion reads to remain in motion until acted upon by an outside source, in this case the outside source being MY motorcycle. Her exuberant momentum caused Zach’s bike to crash into mine, which then teetered over into the lawn mower, leaving me with a tangled mass of handlebars and brake cables and a floor awash with gasoline spilked from the carbs. And where was the orchestrator of this disaster? Out cavorting with the other inmates, as it obviously didn’t appear that a ride was immediately forthcoming.

So I struggle to separate and recoup the bikes, sonewhat succesfull until I try to lift Zach’s bike from it’s position of repose; halfway through the process, the gas on the floor causes my feet to fly out from under me and the motorcycle found itself back on the floor. Thankfully, there was no further damage to the bike, as my legs cushioned it’s impact; pinned in a pool of gas by a 400# Suzuki for even a moment is a moment too long.

All’s well that ends well and everything is now squared away and put back into what appears to be order at the Casa; the next time you wish that you had your own personal Charlie?

Be careful what you wish for.

And as it’s officialy Charlie Bravo day, it is your responsibility to to get out there and chark the freaking diem!

Join the discussion

  1. Elaine McLemore

    She’s an absolute beautiful mess! Lol

  2. Karen Mullins

    Oh God! Sorry Dad but this made me laugh so hard. I am glad everyone is OK.

  3. Red Maryann Cook Godbey

    Oh Charlie girl, the loving mischief you create!! Hope your legs are ok Dad!!!

  4. Luke Sherwood

    I’d have several Charlie’s, life’s to short to be normal.

  5. Becky Casper Wiltsee

    So funny. I have my own personal Charlie. Her name is Lucy and is an 80 lb black lab. She is the ruler of the dog house. Thanks for the laugh and am glad all is well.

  6. Sherry Ralph Jadrnak

    I just snorted coffee through my nose! I was laughing at the image of pounce, bike, bike, mower, gas, dad, flounce!

  7. Verna S. Clancy

    Can’t laugh at this. I just feel sorry for those who had to smell that spilled gas and what got on you. Seems like it never goes away. Lock that garage door so Charlie cannot getteth in. We love her but she’s rotten.

  8. Sandy Runyon Lough

    My day is going to be so boring, compared to that of the inmates of the Casa. Or was. Think I’ll go find something to chark about and make it less so. Chark the freaking diem, indeed!

  9. Jeanne Mancinelli

    I admit, I laughed. I am glad, though that you are unhurt and the bikes not damaged.

  10. Jannie Maxwell

    Glad there was no injury amidst the chaos! What a boring world it would be without the Charlie’s in our lives!

  11. Kathy Moody

    Like all the rest, the images this brings to mind are like a laugh in episode. Glad all are ok.

  12. Marlene Petsche

    I am laughing so darn hard right now…there is never a dull moment at the Casa with Charlie girl around 🙂

  13. Lynn Hudson

    I laughed so hard I had to thank God for Tenalady (as I often do when reading the exploits of the Casa !!) Thank you for sharing the game…its fabulous xxx

  14. Ethel Sleith

    Oh dear. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but really!

  15. Karen Kopchick

    Glad nobody got seriously injured. That girl just loves them cycles ! You know that one rescued her right LOL !

  16. Sam Howard

    Isn’t everyday ” Charlie Bravo Day “? I’m laughing so hard I don’t know what day it be.

  17. Vicky Guth

    i bout fell off the couch!!!

  18. Faith Kidwell

    Omg dad I’m so sorry I was snickering the whole story, I was watching it play out in my head but I am glad ur ok!

  19. Luke Sherwood

    Charlie should run for president, she’d be Pawsome at it. America according to Charlie B.

  20. Darling Nikki

    Glad you didn’t get hurt. A bike falling on you, with gas all over the place, sounds like a recipe for disaster. Good ole’ Charlie. Chark the freaking diem! Love it.

  21. Rachel McGill

    Hmmm, not amusing….sounds like a bit of training required. Never hurt anyone. Lesson: we can’t always do whatever we like?

  22. Heather Shaw

    Who could have guessed that skinny, sickly girl in the crate, would blossom into a force of nature! So glad you didn’t suffer permanent damage from falling bikes and baths in gasoline!

  23. Diane Brannon-Keech

    Had me rolling at the thought of the domino effect. Her work was obviously done. Be done with you human you service me no more! Onward and upwards! A word to the wise….shoes are a must Dad! Chark on!

  24. Diane Ragusett

    I’m picturing all this in my mind and can’t quit laughing!! Sorry you hit the floor! But–still laughing! Dogs! Gotta love em!

  25. Lori Catlett Shaffer

    I know at the time it wasn’t funny, maybe not even now. But you telling the story is friggin hilarious!!!

  26. Brandy Orange

    Oh my this is a combo of LMBO and oh dear I hope you are okay!!! Somehow I’m guessing the yelling of Charlie’s name and a few other choice words came into play!!

  27. Fran Scott

    CB disdainfully sez “Dad, just get a bigger garage” 🙂

  28. Charlie Bravo - The Motorcycle Rescue Dog Story

    It wasn’t a bit amusing at the time, but if there was humor to be found in the “poop on the foot” story, surely it can be found hiding under a motorcycle.

  29. Amanda Dannehl Hutchins

    That would be a great t-shirt: Charlie Bravo: Chark the Diem

  30. Michael Steele

    I wish I had a nickel for every time I found myself as the pillow for a motorcycle. I do have yet to experience that sensation as the result of the actions of a dog in my own garage yet though!

  31. Gail Morse

    Oh my god, what can I say that hasn’t already being said, you go Charlie girl, lmao ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  32. Margo Meyer

    She IS a motorcycle rescue dog, after all!!! When is the book coming out and I absolutely adore your stories of “Life with Charlie”!!! A fan from AK (Alaska)!!!

  33. Deb Reed

    thank goodness your ok

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