The Charlie Bravo Story

Max is not a good dog

Dad here; there is a mountain pass in the Smokies known as the Tail of the Dragon. Riders travel from all over the world to pay homage and test their mojo on her 318 curves in only 11 miles; for many, it’s a one way trip, as the Dragon is known to bite the cocky or unprepared.

I made my pilgrimage to the Dragon’s Lair last October, and it was everything it was said to be, curve after curve so deep that my foot pegs grinding on the asphalt were a omniscient reminder that there are limits that must be respected. After numerous passes, I came up on an odd creature; imagine a hobbit toddling through the forest on a Bergman scooter. Curly gray hair poking out from beneath a beanie helmet, a black windbreaker flapping in the breeze, his ensemble completed by a pair of sparkling white tennis shoes poking out of baggy blue jeans; I didn’t know what this guy was about, but I did know that I didn’t come all this way to have my ride stuffed up by Bilbo Bagging elderly uncle.

Thankfully, he waved me past, and I began to strafe the curves with extreme prejudice, but something was wrong with my rear view mirrors; they seemed to be filled with that old man on the scooter. I know “objects may be closer than they appear” and all that, but this was ridiculous; this guy was seriously reeling me in. But why race when you can dance? Why not revel in each other’s skill instead of engaging in a passing contest?

Our high speed groove was quickly halted by a sedan whipping out of an antique mall parking lot directly into my path, so close I had to pass in the ditch. I remember a glimpse of her eyes as I flashed by on the right, her eyes wide with realization of what her inattention had almost caused.

As gross tonnage equals right of way, altercation is almost always never the answer; I let it go. After picking my seat from where my butt cheeks pinched it, rearranging my laundry, if you will, I proceeded on towards Deal’s Gap.

My elvish friend pulled in a few minutes later, flopped his kickstand down and extended his hand. With a thick British accent, he said, “that was the best save I’ve ever seen, mate, but you’re looky it happened when it did, because I was about to overtake you”.

You should never judge a book by the brother; it turned out that this old guy was both a retired British Secret Service agent and ex-road racer who delighted in vacationing in the US with the sole purpose renting scooters to embarrass would-be Ricky Racers.

Now I’m sure that you’re wondering, what does this have to do with Max E Million? I’m convinced that this man was Max’s doppleganger, as this is exactly how this hairy little goofball operates. Example: we received an incredible gift box full of goodies from Aunt Kathy yesterday, but as is proper, we were going to make the inmates wait until Christmas to open it. I guess that you think you can see where this is going, but you just wait…

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of “As the Casa Churns”

Join the discussion

  1. Darcy Roberts

    I’ll say it again……..LOVE me some Max!!!!!

  2. Liz Bell Dotterer

    Awwww…that face can do no wrong!

  3. Faith Kidwell

    this is one of my favorites of Max E Million! yes im bias the pretty girl is mine 🙂

  4. Mikki Calm

    Love your stories, had to share this one with my hubby, can’t wait till the next instalment. Would also love to hear more about Mr. Motor Baggins , he sounds like a very interesting character !

  5. Kathy Moody

    That look! You talking to me!?! Enjoy the goodies

  6. Margaret A. Smith

    That road sounds like what we experienced this year while driving in the Victorian Alps. If I had a dollar for every curve! I know those roads are also popular with cyclists. Beautiful sights and not much traffic.

  7. Fran Scott

    I’m sure all the inmates of the Casa enjoyed the contents of the package 🙂

  8. Sheri Weiler

    Can you please PM me your address to send a Christmas card? I got a new phone and lost that info! Merry Christmas to the Casa! ❤

  9. Mary Lou Force

    I do hope you realize the level of utter delight your stories bring to me and so many others! Thank you!

  10. Patsy Patten

    Now THATs a guilty face!!

  11. Laura Robbins

    I’ve been down the Tail of the Dragon. Once. In a truck. No thanks!

  12. Angie Terry

    Wicked awesomeness! Love the Max stories!

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