With apologies to Joe Walsh…
My name is Charlie, I was trapped in a crate
A victim of cruelty, indifference and hate
two short guys on Hondas, arrived through the rain
Released me from bondage, terror and pain.
Now I’m queen of the Casa, Lady of the Bed
I hog the whole thing, and sleep like I’m dead
Dad does my bidding, that’s how it should be
I rupture his eardrums when I have to pee.
I’m still the top dog after all I’ve been through
I can’t complain because I do not have to
Life’s been good to me so far…
My name is Titus, my right eye is blue
I am usually so chill
You think I would chew
On high octane gummies
That put my brain in a fog
My dream is to hang out
With my hero Snoop Dogg
I’m Mia the Nimble, the Red Spazcrobat
A younger version of Angel, not nearly as fat
I’m an ear licker, my tongue’s a Q tip
I’d rather not travel
As I get carsick
My name is Marco, and I’m a crackhead
The Casa’s my home now
As I’m in rehab
I’m the tiniest inmate
With no self control
I leave lots of presents
look like stale Tootsie Rolls
My name is Sir MacDuff, the one with the beard
My mustache and eyebrows universally feared
I’m wise beyond measure is what they convey
The ladies all love me, that’s all I can say.
Lucky we’re inmates after all we’ve been through
The inmates not the warden are running this zoo,
Life’s been good to us so far…
Dad is the warden and hasn’t a clue
We’ve got him outwitted, there’s naught he can do
At home on the highway, tunes cranked on the deck
If he thinks we’re not going,
he needs a brain check.
Lucky he’s been trained,
He knows just what to do
The only one with more sway
Is that knucklehead Jude
Life’s been good to us so far
