Dad here; my humble apologies to Cody Jinks, but when his song “Alone” became one of my favorites, it just made sense to apply it to the early morning insanity at the Casa del Whackos.
Well, it’s long before sunrise
The dogs begin to groan
Mom pretends that she’s asleep
So down the hallway I must go
Mince along on my bare feet
Through a minefield made of bones
I’m not angry, I just want to be alone
I open the door, the dogs run out
To bark at things unknown
The neighbors ready to strangle me
All hope of peace is gone
There’ll be no return to the land of Nod
I’ll just play here on my phone
I’m not angry, I just want to be alone
I pour out last night’s coffee
I put a fresh pot on
I shuffle back to the bedroom
To find that my warm spot’s gone
One dog refused to go outside
I’m guessing Charlie by her yawn
I’m not angry, I just want to be alone
One by one, the dogs come in
They leave me no time to prepare
They leap onto the covers
With no regard what’s under there
I’ve no need for contraception
Our kids have grown and all left home
I’m in agony, and I wanna be alone.
Mom brings me a cup of coffee
Catches me in mid yawn
There’s a chihuahua surprise between my thighs
Where he makes himself at home
There’s already four, so what’s one more
To interrupt my dawn
I’m not angry, I just wanna be alone.
Then, at once my strength renewing,
Though the dogs have crushed me down,
I must burst from ‘neath the covers
And defy all their hairy frowns
For the coffee’s ran right through me
I rush post haste for the throne
Please forgive me, I just wanna be alone
I don’t need Charlie company,
I just wanna be alone.
Happy Charkday!
