Dad here; I have stated in the past that it was my wish that everyone could find their own personal Charlie, but I am now seeing the error of my ways. If life is like box of chocolates, life with Charlie is like a box of chocolates infused with raw tequila, habanero pepper and more than a pinch of gunpowder. The day starts when I try to get her to go outside, and she greets me with a look of such sweetly sublime imbecility, “why disturbest thou thine superior?”, then transforms into a sleek hair covered wrecking ball for the remainder of the day. One example:
Zach’s motorcycle was recently stolen from his apartment, so he now stashes the replacement in the greasy garage of the Casa, a tight but workable precaution. As we have an Eastern Seals ride coming up this weekend, I went out there last night to inspect the bikes, check the tires, batteries, etc.
Now, Charlie has developed an obsession with anything noisy and motorized; if I start the mower? There she is, bounding up onto the deck with absolutely no regard for my bare feet. The Subaru? Same reaction. But her true passion is reserved for motorcycles and even the sound of the key going into the ignition is enough to transform her into a maelstrom of mayhem, and the actual sound of the bike causes her already meager IQ to half and her adrenaline to double. Her voice transforms from a “normal” bark (if there is such a thing) to a CHARK!!, an unholy, earsplitting combination of plea and demand that cannot be ignored.
So here I am, alone at the Casa with no human reinforcements, and when I crank up Zach’s bike, I feel a whoomp!, 50# of black dog vaulting onto the saddle expecting to go for a ride. Although this might have been amusing at another time, Newton’s law dictates that an object in motion reads to remain in motion until acted upon by an outside source, in this case the outside source being MY motorcycle. Her exuberant momentum caused Zach’s bike to crash into mine, which then teetered over into the lawn mower, leaving me with a tangled mass of handlebars and brake cables and a floor awash with gasoline spilked from the carbs. And where was the orchestrator of this disaster? Out cavorting with the other inmates, as it obviously didn’t appear that a ride was immediately forthcoming.
So I struggle to separate and recoup the bikes, sonewhat succesfull until I try to lift Zach’s bike from it’s position of repose; halfway through the process, the gas on the floor causes my feet to fly out from under me and the motorcycle found itself back on the floor. Thankfully, there was no further damage to the bike, as my legs cushioned it’s impact; pinned in a pool of gas by a 400# Suzuki for even a moment is a moment too long.
All’s well that ends well and everything is now squared away and put back into what appears to be order at the Casa; the next time you wish that you had your own personal Charlie?
Be careful what you wish for.
And as it’s officialy Charlie Bravo day, it is your responsibility to to get out there and chark the freaking diem!
She’s an absolute beautiful mess! Lol
Oh God! Sorry Dad but this made me laugh so hard. I am glad everyone is OK.
Oh Charlie girl, the loving mischief you create!! Hope your legs are ok Dad!!!
I’d have several Charlie’s, life’s to short to be normal.
So funny. I have my own personal Charlie. Her name is Lucy and is an 80 lb black lab. She is the ruler of the dog house. Thanks for the laugh and am glad all is well.
I just snorted coffee through my nose! I was laughing at the image of pounce, bike, bike, mower, gas, dad, flounce!
Def had her flounce on, like “my work here is done!”
Can’t laugh at this. I just feel sorry for those who had to smell that spilled gas and what got on you. Seems like it never goes away. Lock that garage door so Charlie cannot getteth in. We love her but she’s rotten.
It’s all good, gas smells like bikes, I think it should be bottled and sold as Cologne, along with wd40
I “liked” but I wouldn’t like it. Can’t stand the smell of gas.
My day is going to be so boring, compared to that of the inmates of the Casa. Or was. Think I’ll go find something to chark about and make it less so. Chark the freaking diem, indeed!
I admit, I laughed. I am glad, though that you are unhurt and the bikes not damaged.
Glad there was no injury amidst the chaos! What a boring world it would be without the Charlie’s in our lives!
Like all the rest, the images this brings to mind are like a laugh in episode. Glad all are ok.
I am laughing so darn hard right now…there is never a dull moment at the Casa with Charlie girl around 🙂
I laughed so hard I had to thank God for Tenalady (as I often do when reading the exploits of the Casa !!) Thank you for sharing the game…its fabulous xxx
Oh dear. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but really!
Glad nobody got seriously injured. That girl just loves them cycles ! You know that one rescued her right LOL !
Isn’t everyday ” Charlie Bravo Day “? I’m laughing so hard I don’t know what day it be.
i bout fell off the couch!!!
Omg dad I’m so sorry I was snickering the whole story, I was watching it play out in my head but I am glad ur ok!
You’ve seen the garage, so you know the situation!
Charlie should run for president, she’d be Pawsome at it. America according to Charlie B.
Glad you didn’t get hurt. A bike falling on you, with gas all over the place, sounds like a recipe for disaster. Good ole’ Charlie. Chark the freaking diem! Love it.
Hmmm, not amusing….sounds like a bit of training required. Never hurt anyone. Lesson: we can’t always do whatever we like?
You obviously haven’t met Charlie
obviously 🙂
Who could have guessed that skinny, sickly girl in the crate, would blossom into a force of nature! So glad you didn’t suffer permanent damage from falling bikes and baths in gasoline!
Had me rolling at the thought of the domino effect. Her work was obviously done. Be done with you human you service me no more! Onward and upwards! A word to the wise….shoes are a must Dad! Chark on!
Lol… I live in a town that is called Taylor”tucky” for the reason!
I’m picturing all this in my mind and can’t quit laughing!! Sorry you hit the floor! But–still laughing! Dogs! Gotta love em!
I know at the time it wasn’t funny, maybe not even now. But you telling the story is friggin hilarious!!!
It’s always a party!
Oh my this is a combo of LMBO and oh dear I hope you are okay!!! Somehow I’m guessing the yelling of Charlie’s name and a few other choice words came into play!!
Fortunately, no one was in the vicinity to hear words not uttered since the ancient Babylonian era…
CB disdainfully sez “Dad, just get a bigger garage” 🙂
It wasn’t a bit amusing at the time, but if there was humor to be found in the “poop on the foot” story, surely it can be found hiding under a motorcycle.
And there it is folks, he haunts me with that story!! Now he’ll say: my work here is done!
My work will be done as soon as I provide a comic book version of the story
I better be in it!!!
I meant a comic book version of the poop story; I didn’t think you were volunteering for THAT story!
Oh crap(no pun intended) then no thanks, I think?
That would be a great t-shirt: Charlie Bravo: Chark the Diem
I was thinking of a coffee mug featuring her gaping mug on one side, Chark the diem on the other
I wish I had a nickel for every time I found myself as the pillow for a motorcycle. I do have yet to experience that sensation as the result of the actions of a dog in my own garage yet though!
I’m sure that Takoda is going to accomplish it sooner or later, probably with the hack!
If he does I’m sure he’ll run around just out of reach before leaving me to gnaw off whatever appendage is leaving me trapped.
Good dog
I credit his early upbringing. And by credit I mean blame.
Oh my god, what can I say that hasn’t already being said, you go Charlie girl, lmao ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
She IS a motorcycle rescue dog, after all!!! When is the book coming out and I absolutely adore your stories of “Life with Charlie”!!! A fan from AK (Alaska)!!!
The book is out on Kindle, working on a paperback version: thanks for the kind words@
I hid the lighter…
thank goodness your ok