The Charlie Bravo Story


Nama here; due to my impressive ears, it is suspected that I have some Pharaoh hound in my bloodline. If this is true, I may have to begin lobbying to have my name changed from “Nama” to “Nefertiti”; isn’t this is how Charlie handled it when she began to realize her own claims towards royalty? Suddenly a simple name such as “Charlie Bravo” seemed vaguely inappropriate for a dog bent on global domination, so she decided that she needed a name that had a bit more of a regal air and settled upon “Charlemagne Bravissimo”.
Anyway… last night I noticed we inmates all have DDU’s. This is a critical juncture where spine, legs, and tail meet, most dogs have “butts”; we hairy inmates of the Casa have DDU’s, pronounced “doodoos”, an acronym for “Dad Detection Units”. These highly sensitive organs have evolved to detect any motion in the snoring land mass that is Dad; we utilize them by pressing them firmly against the slumbering pharoah familius while we sleep to ensure that no migration from the bed towards the kitchen is possible without our notification.
That is, all except Marco, who shall henceforth be known as “Amon”. Amon was a god of the hair, and the name probably means the “Hidden One.” He monitors any potential movement from his temple deep beneath the covers and between Dad’s legs, emitting warning growls if there is the slightest hint of any seismic activity.
Of course, of no concern to us is the fact that Dad has to sleep like King Tut. He must somehow deal with the reality of being encased in, instead of tightly wrapped linen, a sarcophagus of dog flesh, although the effect is the same. We find it very ungrateful on his part that we don’t require removal of his internal organs or of his brain through his nose as did the ancient Egyptians; although Mom might say that, while the loss of the guts could be beneficial, the loss of the brain would go unnoticed.
Wait a minute! Wasn’t Anubis, the Egyptian god of the underworld, a black dog? And wasn’t his chief responsibility the weighing of hearts in the balance to determine their worth before being allowed to enter the afterlife?
Hmmm, I’m starting to see a pattern here…
Charlie is a black dog, as well as a great judge of character! Maybe she’s the female reincarnation of Anubis and didn’t even realize it! And maybe, just maybe, I have appeared at the Casa not to replace but to assist her? All this time Charlie has been limiting herself to global conquest, when the underworld is also ripe for takeover? I shall delve into the ancient manuscripts of Rah and seek further enlightenment on this matter; or maybe I shall just Google it. We might even have to change the name of Los Casa del Whackos to the Kasa of Karnak!
(Dad here; there will be no more watching of “The Mummy” by Nama or any of the other inmates before bedtime)

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