Full disclosure alert: dad had nothing to do with the following post, who’s opening line which was prompted by another post that he had nothing to do with. As far as he’s concerned, that’s double deniability.
No, it is I, Charlie Bravo, who takes full responsibility for the lack of responsibility that the following words represent. The only apology that I make is to the “other” Charlie, Charlie Daniel’s, the younger brother of Jack Daniel’s, although I must admit, I made that last part up.
Here we go…
The devil went down to Wallmarks
He was looking for a roll to steal
He was in a bind, clenching his behind
And desperate to make a deal
He came across an inbred hoarder a buggy load of TP and wine
Said “I’ll make you a bet, you won’t regret
Your greed shows you’re one of mine”
And cause we’re kindred spirits
I’ve a request to make of you
If you can spare a square, I’m packing more than air
A couple of rolls would more than do.
The devil started sweating
As his guts began to rock
If a deal couldn’t be struck, he’d be out of luck
And leaving Walmart with one sock.
The lady said my name’s Karen
And my hoard’s not due to luck
I was standing in line long before nine
Just awaitin’ for that truck
Karen, yank the that shrink wrap back and strip that pallet bare
Though others would like their behinds squeaky clean, you do not give a care
If you win you get another pallet to take home
But if you lose, you’ll be stranded on your throne.
So the devil and old Karen, they grabbed adjacent stalls
Superbowl-bound Browns and barnyard sounds began bouncing off the walls
The devil even hiked one cheek and gave an evil hiss
The band of greeters joined right in and it sounded something like this
When the devil finished Karen said “you ain’t in my class, you’d better hush
Sit right there on your porcelain chair
You’d better hope I courtesy flush.
Fire on the mountain, run boys run
The devil needs some paper but he ain’t got none
Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough
Can you spare just one square, no child no
The devil bowed his head ’cause he knew that he’d been beat
And he slipped that Wallmarks rain check ‘neath the stall at Karen’s feet
Karen said, “devil, you’d better get up early next time, or a water hose you’ll have to use
I’m a certified WallMarks hoarder
And I never ever lose
She played Fire on the mountain, run boys run
The devil needs some paper but he ain’t got none
Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough
Can you spare just one square, no child no
