The Charlie Bravo Story

Today is a Good Day

Today was a good day.

Yeah, I know; it was another gray day at the Casa. Winter can’t make up her mind if she’s coming or going. It seems like there’s nothing but hatred and division battering us from every angle; you know, the whole “When I would do good, evil is present with me” thing. I feel like all of us are tired of being called sheep if we believe in one thing, or Neanderthals if we stand for another. Then there’s the spirit-numbing stupidity that we all must grin and bear on a daily basis, with seemingly no end in sight.

Even Charlie and the rest of the inmates seem to be a bit more subdued as of late, but then Mac the Duff does what he does best; getting some crap stirred up.

One of Charlie’s favorite games that she used to play when she was a bit more spry was The Lioness, where she would crouch in the grass, tail quivering, to attack the unwary gazelle(Sandy). She hasn’t played the game as often in the past few years, as Titus hasn’t figured out that his role in the game isn’t that of a Bubalus bubalis; I could have just used the common term “water buffalo”, but the Latin nomenclature is just so much more fun to say.

So I’ll say it again: “Bubalus bubalis”; kind of like the noises your stomach makes are called “borborygmi”, another word that is shamefully underused in everyday conversation.

Anyway. Back to the plains of the Serengeti. MacDuff now self-identifies as not just one jackal but the entire pack, attacking and worrying the dignified Lioness as she attempted to sleep off the afternoon’s kill. After multiple strafing passes by the hairy little varmint, she was eventually roused to defend her honor, although her dignity was beyond repair. It did my heart good to see her once again in the downward dog pose, butt in the air and tail tip twitching as she once again flounced about revealing her inner puppy.

Witnessing such spirited antics was a bit of much-needed laxative to the mental constipation that has been jamming up my plumbing as of late, so I kicked back on the couch tonight to attempt to tap some thoughts into the phone. And just how do you think that went? Exactly how you would expect; Charlie transformed from the Lioness to an inky black octopus, inexorably easing her way up onto my abdomen and wrapping her soggy tentacles around my head. Of course, Duffy the clown fish couldn’t stand THAT, and occupied what real estate was left uncovered. But the weird part was Micro Polo, who’s disgustingly darting tongue and funky breath are somehow a cross between a remora and a hagfish, and any mojo that I once had is dispersed like a cloud of plankton scattered by the arrival of the blue-eyed whale(Titus again).

It don’t get no better than this, but I think that I need to take a break from the Discovery Channel.

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