Sometimes a matter arises at the Casa del Whackos that I’m sure is never an issue in other more “normal” households; tonight one of those matters arose. Mom had just about finished adjusting Ajax’s coiffure, and had to take a break due the trusty Wahl clippers were beginning to smoke. As dad was about to take a shower anyway, she(he was not consulted) decided to throw the freshly-shorn sheep/dog into the wash, hit “regular cycle”, and beat a hasty retreat.
Now, dad’s a simple minded guy, and easily confused. He never really has grasped the concept of having so many condiments in the shower; shampoo, conditioner, lotion, oil, body wash, body scrub, body bar, face scrub, WD40, Clorox Cleanups, not to mention the utensils to apply these products. Shampoo, head to foot, or body wash, head to foot; it’s hard enough for the old man to have to squint at foggy labels, as he can’t wear his spectacles in the shower, and anyway, who has time to go snapping and unsnapping multiple bottle tops and in the proper order that, in the spirit of simplicity, he makes do with one product.
Now, how’s THAT for a run on sentence?
But tonight, another ingredient had been added to the gumbo: flea and tick shampoo. Dad hosed down first and then sprayed Ajax; the next step being the application of the cleansing agent of choice. But wait; did he use the flea and tick shampoo on both he and Ajax, or did he break out his own, and have the dog leave the shower smelling of citrus and sage?
He swore me to secrecy, so I can’t say. I will admit that the sensation of keeping mum and withholding this information is akin to that of someone sitting on a fire ant hill, but I’m a dog of my word.
Besides, he threatened to not take me on any motorcycle rides; even though we all know that’s not really not going to happen, I’m deciding this one time to hedge my bets.
Charlue Bravo out.