The Charlie Bravo Story

Charlie Update

As we approach the seventh anniversary of Charlie’s emancipation from the crate, I think that it’s a good time to address some of the questions that we get asked time and again. So here we go…

#1: how old is Charlie? We honestly don’t know. We initially thought that she was approximately a year old when she came out of the crate, as her teeth, jaws, and bone structure where fully developed. However, this was questioned by the vet when she was speutered, as it was obvious that she had never been through a heat cycle. Whether this is based on age or on prolonged malnutrition we will never know. So, the answer could be as young as eight or as old as ten.

#2: do we think that the mouth breathing nimrods that dumped her have any idea how far she has progressed? The answer is no, as I have a sneaking suspicion that they can’t read.

#3: how much did she weigh when we found her? 18#, although she is currently 65#, and I feel every ounce of it when she pins me to the couch for an extended licking session.

#4: do I somehow tether her to the Charkstream when we’re traveling? Are you kidding me? Would you tether the Queen Mother to her royal carriage? It simply would not do. More importantly, in the event of a crash, I would want to be thrown clear of the bike and not attached to it; I want the same for her. This has been demonstrated numerous times when riding off road, and once on road when a minivan decided to abruptly slam on his brakes. I went over the bars and Charlie went over my head; I woke up to find the big ox licking my face through my shattered face shield. I had a broken collarbone and three broken ribs; she had a small bit of road rash on her upper lip.

#5: what about goggles? The answer is “not a chance”. I know she should, and the “cool” factor would be off of the charts. But we have tried every brand and method of training imaginable, but she simply will not have it. You would think that I was forcing her to wear a cannonball around her head; as soon as the bike starts moving, off they go.

#6: how much longer will she ride? This one is easy: as long as she wants. True, the time of 10-12 hour days in the saddle is behind us, but her fascination with the motorcycle is no less diminished. Mom absolutely hates it when I begin to gear up for a ride, as Charlie still loses her ever-loving mind. The CHARKing, flouncing, and otherwise complete loss of her faculties does not abate until well after we are under way; it is truly a sight to behold.

And the biggie, #7: what does Charlie think of MacDuff riding on HER motorcycle? The answer is that she doesn’t know. I have many faults, but lack of loyalty is not one of them; I always make sure that Charlie goes first and is pooped from her ride. This is when I (guiltily) sneak Duff out for a quick one while the Charles is taking a nap. Of course, this does not apply to the Jude Bear, as he is more demanding than even Charlie when it comes to riding the “momo”.

So there you have it. I’m sure that I have left some questions unanswered, but it’s because I’m getting old and they say that the memory is the second thing to go.

We be of one blood, ye and I.

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