Psst! Hey, Charlie!
I’ve been talking to Claire and Ajax, and we’re pretty sure Dad’s having as affair!
So how did you three rocket scientists come up with that hypothesis? And why didn’t you consult with the real brains of the outfit, that little spaz Marco?
It was Marco that tipped us off? He’s been going through Dad’s debit card statements and found a suspicious buying pattern! It seems that there have been numerous purchases of dog treats, dog food and the like over the last week, but we have yet to see said treats show up at the Casa!
So is that all you have to go on, big guy? Pretty shallow evidence to bring before the grand jury.
Oh no, your royal highness, there’s MUCH more! Tell him, Ajax!
Take a hit of the chronic and calm your jets, Ajax; as always, I’m pretty sure that you’re over-reacting. Do you goofballs even know what’s going on in the woods across the street?
No, you wiry little goober; there’s a pack of pitties in distress over there, and Dad is trying to do for them what he did for us, albeit in a much slower fashion than he would like. He talked to me about it last week, but knew that you knuckleheads would overreact, and sure enough, here you are, ready to book an appearance on Divorce Court.
As long as it takes; all good things come to those that wait… and you know perfectly well that you’re being a drama queen, as its painfully evident that you have not missed out on any snacks, you porky little turbo. Sometimes we just have to tighten our belts, add a little water to the soup and spread the butter a little thinner. It’s always a party at the Casa del Whackos!
Happy Charlie Bravo Day!