The Charlie Bravo Story


It’s been a little over two weeks since a tiny white puppy began to exert her dominance at the Casa del Whackos. Usually by this time, most of the previous inmates have had a chance to fill me in on their backstory: Charlie’s life in her crate, Bull Taco’s career as a drug runner for his familia’s cartel, MacDuff’s journeys in search of a name, and so on.
But not Nama. I’m thinking that, at seven weeks when I found her, she is a bit too young to have much memory of her previous life. I do know that it could not have been pleasant; living in a pile of dew-soaked Amazon boxes with a belly packed full of worms but not much else. Also, in a part of town that one will not find featured in the latest Good Housekeeping, an area where I was genuinely concerned about getting shot at as I was poking around in the pile of water-soaked corrugated cardboard to find her.
But here she is, and apparently to stay. As to her make and model, she is much like the rest of the inmates, an indecipherable conglomeration of canine DNA; maybe some Jack Russell, maybe some chihuahua. But we don’t know or, to be honest, even care that much; unless you’re the Queen, titles don’t have much use at the Casa.
With the exception of MacDuff, the other inmates avoid her like the plague, as her needle-like teeth and claws are difficult to navigate. But she and Duff go at it for hours, usually amping it back up around midnight after the other dogs have long since ceased hostilities and are just looking for a bit of peace and quiet.
And will Nama be a motorcycle girl? I sure hope so, but it’s a bit too early to tell. While she will tolerate the sidecar, she has not immediately become enamored with it in the fashion of Charlie and MacDuff; we shall see, as it could be that it’s something that she needs to grow into.
But she IS growing into her name, and even outgrowing it as it begins to morph into it’s various permutations; some examples:
What is Nama’s name when being told that she can’t go for a car ride? “Namaste”
What would Nama’s honorific be if she was my Okinawan mother in law? “Nama-san”
If she were a Hispanic matriarch? “Namacita”
…if she were a candy-coated chocolate snack? A “namanem”
…if she were a nonsensical pop song from the 80’s? “Namachameleon”
…an Ozzy lyric? “Nama, I’m coming home”
…if she ever moved to the Caribbean? “Bamaha Nama”
Or “Namalamadingdong”?
…whenever she leaves a tiny Dairy Queen-shaped turd somewhere she shouldn’t? Either “Namadog”, “Namamess”, “Namaproblem”, or a combination of all three (this was Mom’s suggestion).
It’s always a party at the Casa del Whackos!

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