Dad recently came across an online test to determine if one is ready for pet ownership. I’m a polite dog, so I won’t come right out and say that the premise was insanely stupid, but I will insinuate that the author must have eaten paint chips as a child. A few samples of the questions:
We’re considering a new pet because:
A. The kids really want a puppy. Me? Not at all.
B. We all love dogs — me included.
C. The kids want a dog, and I’m warming up to the idea.
D. It’s a sickness
C. Running an exclusive bed and breakfast for a bunch of hairy little ingrates
If you’re still renting, have you checked your lease for breed/size restrictions and any additional fees that may be added to your rent for having a pet?
A. Yes, we’re good to go!
B. Yes. There are some restrictions and/or fees, but I’m not worried.
C. Yes. We’re not allowed to have a dog, but I plan to anyway.
D. No, maybe I should do that.
E. Deposit? What deposit?
Do you have other pets?
A. Yes, and I’m not sure how they’ll handle a dog.
B. Yes, but they’ve been well-socialized with pets of our friends and family.
C. No, this will be our first.
D. Uh, the term “pets” would insinuate some measure of hierachy…
You are financially ready to accept ownership of a dog when
A. Your first name is the Donald
B. Your psychic hotline has advised you that multiple trips to the plasma donor center is in your immediate future
C. When one day when you’re shooting at some food, up from the ground comes a bubbling crude.
While on vacation, we would:
A. Stay in a pet-friendly hotel and bring the dog along!
B. Have a family member or friend dog sit.
C. Pay to leave the dog with a boarding service.
D. Infuriate the wife by disregarding any posted pet policies and smuggle said pet(s) into motel room using techniques perfected by Pablo Escobar. Spend rest of the night in fervent prayer that every creak of the building will not trigger a fit of baying, resulting in a hefty surcharge being levied by the ethnic proprietor who smells of onions and happens to live upstairs.
And so on…
Are you freaking kidding me? Don’t they realize that it can all be summed up by one question:
Do you promise to live by The Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you?
Yes… you can have a dog.
No… you should be slapped and sterilized.
Having a dog is akin to marriage in that the only way it will work is if the needs and comfort of the other party(s) involved are always considered first. With this thought in mind, I have prepared some vows for dad:
I, dad, take Charlie as my lawfully indentured master, to serve her every whim, from this day forward, I promise to love, honor, and obey, forsaking all others, even that finagling little goober Max. What’s now yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine, including, but not limited to, the motorcycle, the sleeping bag, tater tots and any personal space you may once have enjoyed, as long as we both shall live.
Uh, dad, this is the part where you say “I do”…
hugs Charlie you and my fur babies think alike.
yep that last paragraph sums it well.
Have you seen some of the application forms required by some animal adoption agencies ?
So tender and loving…..
She is the bomb! I had to go back to work yesterday and missed all three of my fur babies goodbye! I will miss the snuggles and coffee in my jammies. Dogs are the best!
Do the others know you play favorites?
In the UK it amazes me at the stupidity of some of the rescue centres (the rspca in particular).. A friend of mine owns 8 acres of land where she has 6 welsh ponies (from the biggun’s down to the little ones – guess which one rules the herd!) and she has a stableyard and her house on site.. She is a landscape gardener and works for herself and takes her dog with her everywhere.. (Including horse shows and when we take the horses out for walkies around the village where she lives) YET she isn’t allowed to adopt as her land isn’t fenced (forget that she has sodding massive Devon Bank Hedges all around).. She has been brought up around dogs all her life.. (her mum bred Chow Chows and the kennels was famous around the world) but she has had Labradors since her mum passed away.. Her first was a gypsy rescue aged 8 (he passed away aged 19) her second she bought from a breeder as she couldn’t adopt (he passed at 14) and her latest is also from a breeder (again she couldn’t adopt!) This is a woman who lives for her animals and her dogs especially.. Madness! Yet the rescues are quite happy to let the dogs go to people who live in flats and who work all day as long as they have tiny fenced in gardens! Go Figure! xx
This is the best picture ever !!! Made my day !!! <3
Love the lolling tongue!
Perfect you got this.
Please remember to share to if you care to… Charlie now has her own instagram, @charliebravomrd and we’re also adding video to her YouTube channel daily.
What YouTube channel? Where have I been!
The Charlie Bravo Rescued Motorcycle Dog… just getting it up and rolling!
Just love you to pieces Charlie,what a girl <3
This is what we used to say ” a Kodac moment ” everybody needs to be loved by a dog at least once in their life. Charlie’s doing a bang up job.
CB, I told you when you do CPR, your mouth has to be over his!!!
Awe Charlie u r precious
Well spoken and every bit is right on the money…….my dogs told me that is my comment!
That is such a funny yet touching and true post you wrote, I agree totally.
We be of one blood, ye and I
Well, we be!!
a thousand slobbery kisses for the shares; these and the comments are the life blood that will keep this train rolling!
Roll on, CB. Roll on. We got your back, girl. Never doubt that.
He went to Jared’s!
Peewee and Henry are our children, along with Archie and Lil Miss (our kitties). We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Would have to see original questionnaire to decide how serious to take it
Same those for those who adopt the scary kitty cats.
I need pups of all ages in my life!!!