The Charlie Bravo Story

The eyes have it

Dad here; bad news at the Casa; at exactly 0328, we were rudely awakened when  a train bearing toxic waste derailed in our neighborhood; haz mat teams were scrambled from all the neighboring states in an effort to contain this foul mess before it could get into the jet stream and possibly cause an international diplomatic incident by contaminating the ecosystems of nations around the globe.

Or it might have been that a thousand nervous skunks suffering from irritable bowel syndrome were holding their semi annual support group meeting in my bedroom, and decided to waft a simultaneous air biscuit.

Or more accurately, I awoke to find myself at the south end of a northbound Charlie, and she had unleashed a silent but oh so deadly barrage directly into my face; a cloyingly sweet mixture of cotton candy, a wastewater treatment plant, and the scent of the devil’s armpit.

The stench was so vile that  my eyes started watering, then I realized that they were not watering, but that i was crying, which quickly progressed to sobbing uncontrollably. The upside is that I will never be congested again, as  my sinuses are now as clear as if I had snorted an entire gram of Drano, the downside is that I’m sure my tastebuds have been permanently affected, and I’ll never be able to appreciate corn dogs, fried pickles, or Cinnabons again.

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Join the discussion

  1. Jayne Sawyer

    Sorry, Dad. Charlie can’t help it!!

  2. Diana O'Connell

    You have not lived until you experience your beloved companion of the 4-legged kind fumigating your bedroom in the middle of a deep sleep. LOL

  3. Cheryl

    Oh crikey Dick as my old dad would say (in a New Zealand accent of course) the path of true love never runs smoothly. I just cackled chortled and giggled through the entire blog!!! Been there – done that (well my dog has anyway). You made my evening a night of laughter. Thanks Charlie and Charlie’s dad!!

  4. Yvonne Adams

    Haha. She loves you. Good morning inmates of the Casa.

  5. Ruth Thayer

    I can loan you a spill kit from my work? No wait, you can have it I don’t want it back, burn after use!!

  6. Jan Davis

    Charlie says “Whaaat”

  7. Christine Carr Reese

    Charlie must have Lab in her to do that!

  8. Maureen DeSimone

    OMG Charlie – that just made me laugh out loud. Thank you.xxx

  9. Kim Conner

    London must be Charlie ‘ s long lost sister, she snores, farts and hogs the bed.

  10. Mikki Calm

    Hahahahahahaha. Charlie girl, you have my heart! I too have enjoyed that wonderful aroma , there is nothing else in the whole world quiet like it …..is there?

  11. Fran Scott

    Maybe you could capture the noxious fumes and share them with sinus sufferers everywhere…instant relief 🙂 Although it does sound like the treatment is worse than the stuffed-up nose.

  12. Fran Scott

    I’m sure CB had that innocent look on her face “Fumes, what fumes? It wasn’t me, it was Mia” 🙂

  13. Jeannine Prince

    Could hardly finish reading, I was laughing too hard. Needed a good laugh today, thanks.

  14. Lisa

    Lol Charlie we have boxer Bill dog mix I swear it smells like toxic waste. Maybe dad needs gas mask!

  15. Cynthia Finkbeiner Glazier

    Our Sam is the master of the SBD (silent but deadly). He recently cleared half a bar … one of our local watering holes allows canine patrons and the dogs accompany us to Team Trivia Thursday nights.

  16. Kathy B Gill

    They say dogs take after their owners, so…fess up, Dad. Your patience with this problem speaks of personal knowledge. Just say in’

  17. Gail Morse

    Deadly aroma, ahahaha, experienced that again just yesterday, our toy poodle lets loose then turns looks at ya & runs away, your right dad, sinuses cleared immediately ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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