Thou shalt have no other dogs before me.
Thou shalt not closeth the bathroom door.
Thou shall not utter the “G” word in vain (go?)
Be not miserly with the belly rubs, yea, continue on until I hearken “enough!”
Thou shalt not feign sleep when I would rise, neither shalt thou rise when I would slumber.
Thou shalt not replace carpet with wood flooring, as scooting without friction is merely smearing.
Thou shalt not commit adultery(if I cannot, why shalt thou?)
Thou shalt not giveth me of the dry bread of the burger, nor of the pickle, but of the beef and cheese thereof.
Thou shalt not close the lid on the porcelain bowl, that I might quench my thirst without so journeying across the wasteland to the kitchen.
Be ever mindful that I saved you as you saved me, and testify accordingly.