The dad is my servant, I shall not want
I maketh him to lie down without covers, I hoggeth the bed with the others.
He restoreth my roll: he taketh me on the motorcycle when he would ride solo.
Yea, though I wreak havoc when others would slumber, I will fear no evil: for I am the Charlie; dad’s bark and his bite, they amuseth me.
He preparest a table before me in the presence of mine other inmates: he anointest my head with Frontline; the toilet bowl runneth over.
He leadeth me beside dewy grasses, and waiteth until I do my business, yea, even if I am eternally indecisive as to the ordained location.
He casteth me into outer darkness, only to letteth me back in with weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, as I shall importunately charketh to the heavens until my will is fulfilled.
Verily I sayeth to thee, she that tooteth not her own horn getteth it not tooted.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the Casa del Whackos for ever.